Goddamn it, Netflix! This was the year we were gonna get our shit together …
Netflix is the devil. Back in the day, TV was awful except for maybe an hour a day. So you had to do other shit until TV got good, then you would watch it and have fun, but TV would quickly turn shitty again — so you'd go back to the real world.
Now, TV is great all the time, no matter what. There are only two things that could stop you from spending your entire day in sweat pants: the embarassing "Are you still watching Bridezillas?" question you get every three episodes, and the shitty selection of movies.
Netflix just fixed the second one, so now it's just a single shame-filled button click that keeps us from reality all the time.
As per their media center:
From September onwards, Netflix will become the exclusive US pay TV home of the latest films from Disney, Marvel, Lucasfilm and Pixar.
Oh man, we're fucked.
That means Wall-E, Up, Finding Nemo … All the Star Wars movies, all the Marvel super hero movies …
And for new releases, everything will come to Netflix just eight months after it's in theaters. So instead of going anywhere or doing anything, we can just stay on the couch.
This is definitely not good. Or maybe it's the best thing in the world.