Four uplifting stories to make you feel better about your own choices …

Texas woman eats half of a cake inside Walmart, refuses to pay full price
A Wichita Falls woman was banned from her local Walmart after demanding she only pay half price for half of a cake. The issue, says employees, is that they saw her eat the missing side while walking around the store. “I don’t know if she got the whole cake. I don’t know if she left with the other half of it,” Officer Jeff Hughes told Wichita Falls Times Record News. The scene was so sad and pathetic that even the cake was in tiers.

Singer funds ‘self-made’ career with stolen $4.1 million in charges on company card
Baltimore singer Chad Arrington — also known as Chad Focus — is accused of stealing millions from his workplace’s AmEx card to fund his R&B career. He used the money to buy followers, fake views and even displayed a billboard in New York’s Times Square. He now faces 20 years behind bars for conspiracy, wire fraud and aggravated identity theft. Surprisingly, JaRule legitimately had nothing to do with this. 

Florida man breaks into Wendy’s to steal safe, cooks burger first
Patrick Benson is accused of smashing a window recently to get into his local Wendy’s on a late-night munchie run slash burglary. He made off with a self-cooked value meal and a safe before being arrested the next day. Authorities dubbed the brazen drunkard “Hamburglar” because “Hey dumbass, no one uses cash anymore” is too wordy for headlines.

Stupid stories submitted by our dear readers …

Never Again
“Okay, so you know the thing where you give oral with a Mentos or Pop Rocks in your mouth? Me and the bf got high one night and I challenged him to let me do it with a Warheads, sour apple. Apparently he’d nicked himself shaving the day before and things got very unsexy very quickly.”
-Lana B.

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