"But Daaaaad!"

Today in true love and passionate romance: Another Kenyan man has offered plural hundreds of cows in exchange for Malia Obama’s hand in marriage.

You know, Malia Obama?  Daughter of U.S. President Barack Obama? That one.

This is the second attempt by a rural Kenyan farmer to wed Malia Obama. However, the new suitor has surpassed the previous one, lawyer Felix Kiprono Mategei’s offer of 50 cows by a factor of 10, and is offering up a hefty flock of 500 heifers for the occasion.

“To prove (that I'm) serious, I will give her father 500 cattle and even more and I am ready to send them to the US in the form of money,” said Mr. Kishau. He can convert cattle to dollar bills? *Swoon*

When was the last time someone offered to buy you with cows? Doesn’t that make you just want to:


But his game doesn’t stop there. The 24-year-old man has says he’s also prepared to sell his ancestral piece of land in the Maasai Mara to win Malia’s heart. He’s even named the Maasai Elders that he would like to represent him in the marriage negotiations to demonstrate the authenticity of his love <3.


"She is very beautiful, nice and cute. I am not able to sleep at night, I love Malia Obama very much. I do not know good English but I know that I love her," he said. Both beautiful and cute huh? Spoken like a true Don Juan! What father wouldn’t take advantage of the opportunity to give his daughter away to such a Prince of Romance?

"I am old enough to have babies but she will know my age once we get married. I will give the family 500 cows and sell all my Maasai lands just to win her." OoOoOoh, and he’s mysterious too! That’s so dreamy and creamy .

What’s less mysterious is Malia’s age, which is 17. Raise your hand if you think she’d better jump on this offer quick before all the good husbands get snatched up! Swipe right, Malia! Swipe right!

Kishau said he will send the money from the sale of his land to Obama if he is given his phone number so they can talk business. We’re sure Obama could really use it, seeing as how our nation is drowning in debt.
Do it Malia. The future of our country is in your hands #romance #love #boyfriend.