Or be unique and join us in the new musical revolution sweeping the nation — AM radio!

In an interesting turn of events: Spotify and Apple are now one company and are pants-piss laughing at all of us right now as they both make way to their offshore bank accounts guarded by clones of Steve Jobs armed with upcycled artillery shells …

NO! That’s not at all true at all, but doesn't it seem fairly strange that when one company (Apple) launches a “Spotify-killing” music streaming service of its own, that very company it sought to destroy does better than it had before?

So says a Bloomberg Business report at least, which cites the download numbers of Spotify taken just a week after Apple Music was launched. The still-rising numbers of Spotify couldn’t be any better right now — they’re record breaking even.

“Spotify spent five consecutive days as the ninth-most-popular iPhone app in the U.S., a spot it hadn't reached for even a single day since December 2013 (Spotify has since fallen to No. 10, which still puts it ahead of its performance for almost every day in its history.),” says Bloomberg’s Joshua Brustein.

Are the numbers a direct result of Apple’s music service being exhausting and non-exhilarating, while basically shelling out the same thing as every other service already has? Possibly, but keeping the words “streaming” and “music” at the forefront of everyone’s social feed is likely to blame. Those who have yet to make the jump into the scary abyss may feel a slight sense of FOMO and take to the services just to see what all the fuss is about. As an increase of listener's move to digitally delivered media, the more companies like Spotify and  Apple are bound to see growth — regardless of competitive differences.

But growth in numbers still doesn’t mean shit to any service, really, because a massive majority still expects to find music for free and won’t entertain the idea of paying for something that can be found just about anywhere online. Per the beautiful chart below, some 5% of streaming customers actually dole out part of their income to listen to music, leaving 95% (the rest of us) to just sit idly by while the big companies compete for whatever pithy share of green they can.

Or you can forget all the streaming madness altogether and join us in the new musical revolution sweeping the nation — AM radio! It’s like they took regular radio and put a scratchy, nostalgic filter on it to sound old. It’s retro as fuck!