Trends, they come and go …

Each month, we like to sit around a big golden table and talk amongst ourselves about popular culture — what's hot, what's not kind of a thing. Then, we take those drunken rants and turn them into obituaries, a rundown of what's dead, going to be dead or is dying a slow and painful death of over-popularity. This month, here's where we're at:

Concert Reviews

Much like classified and obituary sections (hey wait a minute), concert reviews are no more. It became irrelevant in journalism after the advent of newer technologies. It’s survived by outlets like Snapchat, applications that actually just show people what it was like to be there. A celebration of life will take place on blogs, the inescapable paradigm of ignominious and redundantly benign sonic performance exploration.

Award Shows

Giving away precious metals on a wooden stick for the sole purpose of mass pandering and promotional brainwashing passed recently after succumbing to the effects of America just not caring anymore. Along with it has gone the Hollywood elite, who tanked their own existence by using the platform for political pontification. Donations can be made to yourself, it’s your money, not theirs.

Shelfies

Please take a moment today to remember all the people of Instagram who have ever taken a photo in the mirror while holding a protein shake or other dietary supplement before working out. Because though still popular, all are completely irrelevant and grossly contrived. They’re survived by photos of dinner, which at least omit featuring someone’s face holding back an elated sense of self-satisfaction.