Bars are rife with them: tables full of bored people scrolling on their phones instead of talking to each other. However, an ad agency in Brazil is trying to get us to pay attention to each other by forcing a decision: it’s either the cell phone or the beer.

 

 

Bars are rife with them: tables full of bored people scrolling on their phones instead of talking to each other. However, an ad agency in Brazil is trying to get us to pay attention to each other by forcing a decision: it’s either the cell phone or the beer.

The glass in question is dependent on your cell phone to stand upright. Its design makes it impossible to check your phone while in the bar with your friends, so you actually have to pay attention to them.

This idea is cool and all, and it would be really nice if the girl we asked out would occasionally look at us. But, the prospect of spilling our beer for checking a text message is kinda scary. So, here’s some ways that you can ensure your date is paying attention to you that don’t involve fancy glassware.

 The Tab Tower

If you're out with a group of friends and you know someone's going to be reaching for that device sooner or later, play this fun little game. Have everyone put their phones in the center of the table and the first one to touch theirs has to buy a round. It's a fun way to get drunk, and if you aren't easily distracted by flashing lights, you get to drink for free. 

Use that hole in your face to ask some questions 

If you’re boring and only like to talk about skin conditions and the weather, how can you expect someone to pay attention to you? If you want them to look up from their phones, you need to start an actual conversation. Believe it or not, it is possible to have one with a person IRL. Start by asking open-ended questions about your date, ones you wouldn't be able to find out by checking their Instagram. For example, a bad question would be, "Don't you have a dog?" A good question goes like this, "Your pug looks like a lot of fun, what's your favorite thing to do with him?" Once you get someone talking about themselves, it's hard to shut them up. Before you know it, you'll be able to contribute something and keep it going.  Do you already know everything about your date? Start talking about other people in the bar. People watching creates infinite conversation possibilities. And, explaining to the bikers in the corner that  you were laughing with them, not at them is a great way to make new friends.    

Shots shots shots

Liquor is social lubricant, and like all lubricant more is better. If your date starts checking their phone, order another round. The more booze you introduce into the situation, the sooner you'll bring up that time you came to in an Argentine whore house. If that's doesn't rip your date away from their Facebook, you should probably just call it a night. Plus, it's kind of hard to pay attention to your phone when you're seeing two or three of them.

Get them really, really wet

 

Don’t have anything cool to say? Spent your month's rent on shots? You should probably think of something cool to do. Sign you and your date up for a karaoke duet. If your date's not into karaoke, start drawing caricatures on bar napkins. Perhaps a good, old-fashioned game of hangman is in order?  Finally, if they refuse to participate in life, force them to with a game of Ice Cube Hockey. It's a simple game. Begin by fishing ice cubes from your drink, then take aim at the goal. The goal is conveniently located in the gap between their elbows. Flick the ice across the table, and the person with the wettest pants at the end loses. If they don't pay attention, they’re getting a crotchful of ice. If they do, you just started a fun game that goes on until your waiter slips next to your table and cracks their head open. Then, it's fully acceptable to get your phone out and call 911. 

Fight fire with fire, and whip out your phone

If you can’t seem to keep your date’s attention at all, and you’re not boring, then you should just call them. They’re already on the phone, so it seems it’s the only way you’ll be able to capture their attention. If you send them a text  you don’t run the risk of being sent straight to voicemail, because that's straight-up embarrassing. Assuming it's a third date, or your main squeeze, excuse yourself and go take a sexy photo. Nothing puts phones back in pockets faster than a nice set of tits or a dick shot, believe us. 

Not working? It's time to bring out the big guns. And by big guns, we mean strip.

When all else fails, nothing grabs attention like a little skin. If your date won't stop checking their phone, start taking your clothes off. For every five minutes spent paying attention to you, take off another article of clothing. If their attention waivers, put it back on. It’s either Foursquae or nipple, and that shouldn’t be a decision. 

Fuck it, it's time to call your mom

You've tried everything, and the asshole still won't pay attention to you. Just say, "Fuck it." Get your phone out and start texting your mom. Now it at least looks like you've got somewhere better to be.