Beyoncé is making people crave moderately edible shrimp and we're all better people for it.

Beyoncé has done a lot of things for a lot of people over the years, but probably her most significant contribution to date is her single-handed resuscitation of failing seafood chain Red Lobster.

Thanks to her handiwork, the restaurant known for its cheddar biscuits reported a jaw-dropping 33 percent sales increase from this time last year. The skyrocketing demand for freshly murdered shellfish came immediately after the release of her song "Formation," in which she says she took a man to Red Lobster after sex to reward him for a job well done. We can only assume this means he was completely compliant as she bit his head off praying mantis-style, and, blood still running down her chin, sacrificed the remainder of his corpse to her Illuminati overlords. Very calorically depleting, we're sure.

Thankfully, Red Lobster's 45 possible proprietary shrimp preparations and zesty dipping sauces all hold enough calories and vital nutrients to replenish the body's supply after some spirited boning. Nothing says "I enjoyed that sex" like a four-course shellfish odyssey and a baked potato thing.

“When he fuck me good, I take his ass to Red Lobster,” Beyoncé raps, prompting many to question where she takes him when the sex is just okay. Long John Silver's? Casa Bonita?

Red Lobster, baffled as to why else anyone would want to eat at their restaurant, said it's positively certain Beyoncé's post-coital rituals are responsible for the sales increase.

But Beyoncé's heavenly touch may have done more than sell a few extra Ultimate Shrimp and Lobster Feast combos in the wake of "Formation." From the looks of it, she might have actually saved the entire chain from a watery death as well. Up until their separation from Darden Restaurants in 2014, Red Lobster's sales had been declining at an alarming rate … but once Beyoncé intervened with her sex-having, sales jumped enough to cover those losses and thousands of Red Lobster employees got to keep their jobs slaughtering lobsters and enduring their customer's insistence that they supersize their clam chowder serving.

As per Beyoncé's praise, Red Lobster was also a trending topic on Twitter for the first time ever.

"It's clear that Beyoncé has helped create some Red Lobster fans, and we are very grateful to her for that," Red Lobster CEO Kim Lopdrup said in a statement.

Red Lobster reached out to Beyoncé via Twitter, but their response was underwhelming in comparison to how insane it is that Beyoncé's sexual gratification is the reason they still have jobs:


Well, it's clear Red Lobster isn't cut out for the "lovably relatable brand with unexpected comedic Twitter presence" thing, so we'll let them stick to what they do best: serving up moderately edible shellfish creations in Midwest shopping centers. If they really want to thank Beyoncé for her contribution to their future, we're sure they can arrange for a complimentary shrimp cocktail or seven million.