Winning football games means we're better people than other people who do not like the things that we like.

Let’s be honest, watching our home team win is a great thing. It proves we’re better people and that other people who don’t like what we like are less than us in every imaginable way. It’s fact. And now it’s on the Internet, so it’s even more of a factual fact. Broncos rule!

But getting free (or heavily discounted) sustenance items after a win? Have we passed to the netherworld, ending up in a football-lover’s heaven? Considering the following list of hookups some companies offer the day after a big game, we just might have …

Free Victory Coffee from Participating Conoco Stations

The following day after a Broncos win, visit any participating Conoco stations between 6:00 am and 10:00 am for a free cup of coffee. Freebies are limited to 100 cups per station, so get in quick! That hangover isn’t going to caffeinate itself!

Free King Soopers Donut Following that “W”

After we defeat the opposing team like the paltry asshats they probably are (on the field, we’re sure they’re all great guys off), make your way into a King Soopers bakery and grab a free donut. Just swipe your King Soopers card at check-out and ruminate in sugary delight.

Also… on game-days, get two 2-liter bottles of Orange Crush for $1 with your Sooper Card. All flavors included.

Ode to Peyton, $18 Entry Tickets to Elitch Gardens

On the day following a slaughtering of the opposing team, score a general admission ticket to Elitch Gardens for $18. This is a limited time offer and will only be in polace until Oct 18. Tickets purchased are valid until the end of the season, Nov 1.

McDonalds' One-buck Broncos Extravaganza

The day after the Broncos play, bring in your Broncos Key Tag (ask participating locations for what the hell those are) or text “Broncos” to 35253 to receive a Sausage McMuffin w/ Egg or Big Mac for $1

Broncos Roast Beast Sammy Score-A-Thon with Arby's

If the Broncos score 3 touchdowns or more, win or lose, grab a $1 small roast beef sandwhich the day after the presumably exciting matchup. Ask for the “Broncos Deal” when ordering.

Taco-trouncing Field Goal Celebration with Jack in the Box

If the Broncos kick a field goal of 35 yards or more (and we will, have you seeeeen McManus?), drop in to a local Jack in the Box and buy a single taco for 35 cents. Limit 6.

Papa Johns’ Half-off Hookup

The day after a win, use promo code “BRONCOS” to receive 50 percent off any online order of regular-priced menu items. Essentially putting more money in Peyton Manning’s pocket — which is perfectly acceptable behavior.