Finally Bono is starting to make some sense.
Bono is probably the world’s most qualified expert on obnoxious rose-tinted sunglasses and smug attitudes. An expert on international political theory and military strategy, he is not.
Surely the lead singer of the most generic band of all time isn’t qualified to advise the US Senate on ways to combat ISIS … right? Wrong.
On Tuesday, Bono gave a speech to a Senate sub-committee and directed US Senators on cheeky ways to combat the problem of ISIS and Islamic extremism. And people wonder why the US is all fucked up right now and Congress can't get anything done. Well, apparently Congress takes advice from washed up Irish musicians.
That should surprise us, but it doesn't.
Bono, with his vast knowledge of international political theory, advised that Amy Schumer, Chris Rock, and Sasha Baron Cohen should go and fight the Islamic extremist group ISIS with comedy.
“Don’t laugh. I think comedy should be deployed. It’s like, you speak violence, you speak their language. But you laugh at them, when they’re goose-stepping down the street, and it takes away their power. So, I’m suggesting that the Senate send in Amy Schumer, and Chris Rock, and Sacha Baron Cohen, thank you."
Well there you go Congress, Bono just solved the ISIS problem in four sentences. Of course the best way to combat terrorists is to openly mock them. How did Congress not think of this themselves? Let's get Bono started on solving the rest of the world's problems.
Bono's solution to world hunger? Have Dave Chappelle make fun of vegetables. Bono's solution to global illiteracy? Have Louis CK roast the Webster dictionary. Climate change? Have Bill Burr heckle thermometers. Using Bono's logic every problem can be solved with standup comedians.
Of course Bono's plan would bring a whole new meaning to a comedian bombing on stage. You know, because ISIS would probably bomb them.
So why was Bono speaking to a senate sub-committee and advising on foreign policy? Because Bono and Republican Senator Lindsey Graham are apparently homies. Graham loves Bono's crooning lyrics and Bono loves Graham's attitude. Bono recently called Lindsey Graham, “one funny sucker" who "gets shit done." Adorable.
On a side note, Bono is completely unrecognizable when he's not wearing sunglasses. Did you know this Bono? Of course you didn't.
Leave a Reply