You can be pretty stupid and still know that Boulder is an exceptional place when it comes to pervasive education and intelligence. We're always on some Top 10 Smartest Cities list, but we haven't been ranked at #1 for the last few years … until now! We're back, motherf*ckers.

You can be pretty stupid and still know that Boulder is an exceptional place when it comes to pervasive education and intelligence. We're always on some Top 10 Smartest Cities list, but we haven't been ranked at #1 for the last few years … until now! We're back, motherf*ckers.

According to a recent survey by Market Watch, Boulder is back on top, sitting pretty at #1 on their list of smartest cities in the nation. The unspeakable and obvious honor can be attributed to the fact that Boulder is home to a higher population of college-educated adults than anyone else in the country, with 58.5 percent of residents holding at least a bachelor's degree.

Lake Havasu City, Arizona, is at the polar opposite of Boulder on the intelligence spectrum; just 11.3 percent of of residents hold a college degree. But still … Lake Havasu has way better Spring Break parties, so hats off, Havasu, for your Budweiser-soaked bikni bottoms and being the only place in the world where you can still play Sean Paul.

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, roughly 41 percent of Americans aged 18 to 24 were enrolled in a two- or four-year degree-granting institution, far more than the 25.5 percent enrolled in 1967. As of last year, nearly 30 percent of all American adults 25 and older had attained at least a bachelor’s degree. Yet, in some cities like yours truly, a far higher percentage of residents are college educated.

Here are some stats that Market Watch uncovered about Boulder that contribute to our immense nerdom.

Bachelor’s degree or higher: 58.5%
Median household income: $71,604 (9th highest)
Median earnings—bachelor’s degree: $44,060 (188th lowest)
Poverty rate: 13.9% (94th lowest)
Almost 59% of adults living in Boulder have at least a bachelor’s degree as of 2014, the highest figure among all U.S. cities and nearly double the national rate of 29.6% (high five). Area residents were also quite wealthy, with a typical household earning $71,604 in 2013, among the highest figures in the country (high five).  Boulder’s poverty rate of 13.9% was also lower than most cities on this list, as well as lower than the nation (great job). Like nearly all well-educated cities, Boulder residents live in proximity to a major academic institution (sup, CU … lookin' sexy).  Approximately 32,000 students were enrolled at the University of Colorado at Boulder last year (and we'd like to personally kiss you all on the forehead). Plus, there are more Nobel Prize winners per capita in Boulder than anywhere else, and the sheer amount of Subarus and granola we use on a daily basis opens up a wormhole into the future which we exploit to our imperious advantage, especially on GREs.

The stormy downside of this finding, and we hope doesn't ruin the feelings of glory pulsing through your veins, is that Boulder is so educated because we're so wealthy.  People can afford to put their sons and daughters through eight years of school while they figure out what kind of useless anthropology or communications degree fits the majority of their credits. All across the country are genius or otherwise capable kids who can't afford a college education, so while Boulder definitely has a lot of intelligent people in it, who's to really say we're actually the smartest? We might just be the most fortunate. There might be some town in rural Virginia full of little prodigy toddlers who just don't have the same opportunities Boulder's trustafarian babies do, making renewable energy out of KFC and pantyhose. So before you go streaking through the city with blue ribbons tied to your arms like a prize pig, remember you're only smart because your great grandfather invented aspirin or something. You're lucky.