Man, don't you miss the day when you could get some "diddling on the edge of the bed with one foot on the floor" for $2.00? Man, us too. Those suckers really had it made in 1912, which is when this filthy, filthy brothel menu was printed to tell patrons what kind of personal services they could buy with their hard-earned cash.

Man, don't you miss the day when you could get some "diddling on the edge of the bed with one foot on the floor" for $2.00? Man, us too. Those suckers really had it made in 1912, which is when this filthy, filthy brothel menu was printed to tell patrons what kind of personal services they could buy with their hard-earned cash.

Reading over it, our great-great grandparents were really putting us to shame in the kink department. We mean, while you're over there trying to figure out missionary, they were "underfucking" with "woman on top, tits in your face, with extra lady to play with you balls while blowing wind up your ass hole with goose quill" for $6.00. That's just so specific.

These Don Juan and Juanitas even had regularly scheduled "stink fingers and jerk off matinees" for "young men under 21," so what does that say about your sex life? All we know is that, thanks to inflation, we can buy roughly 400 "female suckoffs with stones in mouth" with our current paycheck, so that's what we're off to do! Screw you, student debt, all our money's going stone blowjobs!