Simply put: 'America' is the most American thing on this planet. Right? Right.
Simply put: America is the most American thing on this planet. Right? Right. Because bald eagles, NASCAR, guns and abject fear of irrational possibilities are all good and well — but Mother Fuckin' America is all of that and more. Nothing beats America, nothing (except the Vietnamese …).
To honor our tried and true tradition of being the one true global behemoth, Anheuser-Busch announced earlier this week that the company will be calling the nation's favorite beer "America" henceforth. It will begin replacing all logos on 12 oz. cans and bottles with the new moniker this summer to celebrate what it's calling the "most patriotic summer" in ever.
"We are embarking on what should be the most patriotic summer that this generation has ever seen, with Copa America Centenario being held on U.S. soil for the first time, Team USA competing at the Rio 2016 Olympic and Paralympic Games," said Ricardo Marques, vice president, Budweiser. "Budweiser has always strived to embody America in a bottle, and we're honored to salute this great nation where our beer has been passionately brewed for the past 140 years."
America in a bottle!? GET THIS MAN A RAISE!
For you collectors out there, "Budweiser will also unveil new cans and bottles featuring a magnified view of the Statue of Liberty's torch," adds the release. It's "inspired by Team Budweiser, the brand's six Olympic and Paralympic hopefuls. On shelves from May 23 through mid-September, the 'Torch' packaging will be available in 16-oz. and 25-oz. cans, along with 16-oz. aluminum bottles."
Also, this jacket exists, go buy it now to prove your allegiance to the powers that be:
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