We don't want to call you Nazis, but you kind of are …

Listen,

Just who do you think you are? You’re neither Velcro, nor zipper. Clasp, nor hook. You just sit there with four smug holes embracing old design while waiting to fall off and get lost. You haven’t changed in 5,000 years, so we’re not even sure why we’re doing this. You just don’t get it. You’re living in the past — like when you helped the Nazis keep their jackets closed for warmth during WWII. Not cool man, not cool.

In disgust, sleeves