One of the most fundamental concepts in modern humanity is that it's never a good idea to buy 99 of anything …  especially in the context of brand new iPhones. Unfortunately, that's something one man in China learned the hard way when he bought 99 iPhones to propose to his girlfriend with …only to have her reject him on the spot. Chick must be an Android fan.

One of the most fundamental concepts in modern humanity is that it's never a good idea to buy 99 of anything …  especially in the context of brand new iPhones. Unfortunately, that's something one man in China learned the hard way when he bought 99 iPhones to propose to his girlfriend with …only to have her reject him on the spot. Chick must be an Android fan.

According to Chinese social media site Weibo, the software programmer  spent $85,000 on the brand new iPhones, which he took to an ultra-romantic parking lot and arranged around himself in the shape of a heart.

Then, as a crowd of curious onlookers began to encircle him, he got down on one knee in the middle of the iPhone heart, and popped the question he'd being waiting his entire life to pop …

… to which his girlfriend was pretty much like "What? Bye."

Taken aback and confused why he thought that a gross and unnecessary surplus of cell phones would convince her to spend the rest of her life with him, she rejected him on the spot. And for good reason. What was she going to do with 99 cell phones? Block his number 99 times?

To make matters worse, the man did this on National Singles Day, the Chinese holiday that half-celebrates, half-mocks the country's unwed populace. Man … some people really know how to get into the holiday spirit.  Now he's got 99 problems but a wife ain't one.

Kotaku suggests the stunt was so berserk and nonsensical that it could be Apple's attempt at a viral marketing scheme, but Apple is Apple and if they can convince someone to buy 99 of their iPhones using the extremely minimalist marketing that's gotten them this far … we doubt they'd stoop so low.

But while the man may have left the parking lot empty-handed in the wife department, he's a rich man in the merch resale category: with 20% of single Chinese men saying they’d rather have an iPhone 6 than a girlfriend, he shouldn't have any problem finding 99 single male BFFs to sell his bounty too. Bros before hoes!