Honestly it's, uh, well … hmm …

Being one with nature is cool and all. Honestly, it's a god-given right to do so. But as the CDC is warning everyone with a few egg-laying friends cooped up in their backyard: Don't fuck your chickens.

Or more specifically, don't get close to them like you would a significant other. This may seem like a no-brainer, but apparently it's cause for concern from an organization that's in existence for the sole purpose of studying diseases.

The warning comes on the heels of an uptick in humans contracting salmonella. Apparently, 180 people were reported as being sick from it in 2015, up from 150 just a few years before. The culprit? People getting close to their foul fowls. 

Per the Huffington Post:

Of the CDC’s sample incidents, 62 percent of patients reported exposure to baby poultry, which includes chicks and ducklings. Of that 62 percent:

  • 49 percent reported cuddling with baby poultry.
  • 46 percent reported letting them in their their living rooms, kitchens, bedrooms and bathrooms.
  • 13 percent reported kissing baby poultry.

But you know, this is a country where vending machines and selfies are more deadly than the world's most prolific predator, so, a warning about plucking ducklings just seems natural. 

Go team America!