It happened again. This time across a three-county swath of East Texas. And yet the signs were exactly the same as when it happens here in Colorado: Seven cows were discovered dead and completely drained of blood. The bovines’ tongues and sex organs were removed, and the surgical lacerations were cauterized as if made with a laser. There were no footprints or tire tracks, and no signs of a predator. In fact, there weren’t even cow tracks in the dirt around their bodies.

You might have seen the reports about Texas’ recent string of cattle mutilations. It was some bizarre news from the Lone Star State. But it’s hardly an unheard-of occurrence. Mutilations just like these have been reported back as far as the late 1800s in the US. It’s happened to horses and donkeys, but most of the time it happens to cattle. Colorado’s own San Luis Valley is somewhat famous for these strange occurrences, but they happen all over the place.

And in the 100-year history of this mystery, no one, not a single person has ever been able to offer more than an
existential shrug.

That’s particularly frustrating for the ranchers. They almost always call the Department of Agriculture (DOA) first, which usually compensates ranchers when a predator kills their livestock. But without any evidence of a predator — no scuffle marks, animal tracks, spilled blood, or claw and tooth marks — the DOA won’t comp the cow. So the rancher calls the police, next, and the police inevitably find no evidence of human involvement. No one can offer answers, and the ranchers just have to swallow the loss.

So what on Earth is happening to these cows?!

It’s one of the longest-standing, most perplexing, and unsettling questions in all of Americana. One that requires an extraordinary answer. Because the only thing that’s clear about all this is that these cows are not dying of
natural causes.

And while many theories have been proposed over the years — from bloodthirsty cults to super top-secret military programs — there’s only one that’s strange enough to make any logical sense at all.


Theory #1: Satanic Rituals
As soon as an animal is found missing all of its blood, fingers inevitably start pointing at Satanists. Naturally, so — they’re known for their bloodthirsty rituals involving human and animal sacrifice. They aren’t above slicing a goat’s throat earlobe to earlobe, holding its head as it bucks and gargles in an attempt to bleat, blood gushing from its gaping hemorrhage. That’s kind of their thing. Who’s to say they aren’t also using cows for their dark ceremonies, sneaking out to isolated fields, kidnapping cattle, sacrificing them ritualistically, and vanishing into the night?

The problem is, in over 100 years of cattle mutilations, with thousands of cases scattered across the globe, there’s never been any evidence of human interference. No footprints, not a drop of spilled blood, fingerprints, DNA, not even a single witness. And it’s hard to imagine cultists out there in the dead of night, setting up a surgical operation to drain every drop of blood, remove organs and cauterize wounds, without eventually leaving evidence.


Theory #2: The Military

The military does weird shit all over the world, all of the time. They’re constantly out there experimenting with reverse-engineered alien technology over Area 51. What if these cattle mutilations are some kind of secret weapon our government’s developed? Or some abduction technology? Couldn’t these all be cases of black-budget military-industrial complex experimentation?

Sure. Except for the fact that the first reported instance of a cattle mutilation in the US comes from a Missouri newspaper in the late 1800s. A ranch family discovered three of their cows mutilated in exactly the same way as those found in Colorado and in Texas. And it’s hard to believe the US military has had that kind of technology since William McKinley was in office.


Theory #3: An Unknown Animal Predator
We know about most of Earth’s animals. But it is possible there’s one, unknown and unobserved by man, that feeds only on horse, donkey, and cow organs. Something that requires their blood, and has the ability to precisely slice and cauterize flesh without leaving a footprint or drop of blood. Is it Bigfoot? The chupacabra?!

There’s no way to disprove the existence of such a creature. So… maybe?


Theory #4: Extra-Terrestrials

Earth is being observed — or at least, explored — by craft that we cannot explain or attribute to an Earthly adversary. The government has admitted as much, releasing videos of these objects, and holding classified congressional briefings on these UFOs/UAPs that are regularly invading our airspace and demonstrating flight characteristics that defy our understanding of physics. They are here. We are not alone. And it’s totally possible they’re abducting our cows.

It would explain the lack of footprints, animal tracks, or spilled blood. It could explain those cauterized wounds and missing sex organs and tongues. And it’s the only explanation that can account for this mystery going back over 100 years.

The only question it leaves unanswered, then, is what in the hell do they want with our cattle?