“I’ve been with Colorado Springs Police Department for over 30 years, and I’ve never seen any pattern like this,” Lt. Howard Black, spokesman for the Colorado Springs Police Department, tells us over the phone. “A woman has been defecating in the neighborhood for seven weeks, and it appears to be deliberate,” he says.
Lt. Black is describing the case of the “Mad Pooper,” a woman in Colorado Springs, CO, who has been persistently pooping on the sidewalks and lawns of homes in one small, upscale neighborhood.
The woman simply appeared to be an innocent jogger — until she was caught pants-down, squatting, and pushing out a poop in a family’s front yard. Now the runner returns to the same community every week, prepared with toilet paper in her pockets, to drop a turd on the residents’ properties.
Lt. Black tells us that the Colorado Spring Police Department has opened up a criminal investigation and is currently working to identify the “Mad Pooper.” But it seems to the officers involved, even more important than understanding who is pinching a loaf on local lawns, is understanding why.
“You won’t catch me mocking the woman until we have her in custody and know whether or not she suffers from a mental health issue,” Lt. Black says. “My wife is actually a clinician, and she says there are lots of disorders that can lead to this.”
However, disorders that would offer the best explanation, like gastrointestinal issues or irritable bowel syndrome, can be immediately eliminated.
According to Cathy Budde, a resident who has multiple times caught the crapper in action, the “Mad Pooper” doesn’t care that there are plenty of restrooms available within less than a block. She shits in front of children. She shits in private backyards and public parks. She’s even been spotted shitting behind a local Walgreens, rather than utilizing the toilet inside the store.
“We have to understand why,” Lt. Black says, “so we’re moving toward identifying her.” Although the officer currently refuses to ridicule the Mad Pooper's actions, he encouraged Rooster to reach out again once the suspect is in custody.
If the woman isn’t suffering from any mental illnesses, and is simply a poop-crazed asshole, Lt. Black says, “call me again, and we can really have some fun.”