Surfs up, bruh!

A lot has happened to the South Platte River over the past umpteen or so years to lift its embarassing reputation. Because of countless developers' hard work, no longer is it a piss-filled slop haven where dead bodies are routinely found bouncing around from shoreline to shoreline. With projects like the new $14 million complex called River Run Park in south Denver, the city has found a way to replace its funk with fun.

The new park, opening the first of three phases next week on Aug 25 (near Oxford Ave and Sante Fe Dr), sports multiple hangout areas to relax in and ramps at the bed of the river which create adjustable waves to surf. It's all paid for by grants and taxes and things, which makes entry completely free for anyone wanting to check it out. 

Within the next few years, residents can expect more trailheads, fish habitats, enhanced tubing features and four more waves to surf — because clearly if there were only a few of these things, the bratty local kids would surely take over, thus making it impossible for us adults to make complete asses of ourselves. Bangarang!

Engineers of the wave suggest wearing a helmet, as the river tends to get shallow in areas and there are rocks all over the place. Also, life vests aren't a bad idea either; because we all could use something uplifting every once in a while. Just like in life. 

Surf's up, bruh!