Congress, the planet's most serious group of old white people outside of a nursing home, ensured itself a bit of viral love by numbering a pro-cannabis bill 420. Weed humor. In Congress. Who knew?
House Bill 420 was filed this week. If passed, it would remove marijuana from the government's list of naughty compounds, the Controlled Substances Act.
Now, Rep. Earl Blumenauer, the pro-weedest congressmen from — where else? — Oregon, submitted the bill. It's titled the Regulate Marijuana Like Alcohol Act. That's the same name as Amendment 64, the initiative that freed the weed in Colorado five years ago.
In fact, the bill originated with Jared Polis, who used to be a Colorado congressman but now is the governor (and printed the programs for his inauguration on hemp).
Four-twenty, as anyone who doesn't live in Dubai knows, is the magic marijuana number, and 4:20 p.m. on April 20 is the highest of high holy days.
After naming his bill in drug lingo, Blumenauer pulled up his britches and spoke with his Serious Face.
"While the bill number may be a bit tongue in cheek, the issue is very serious," Blumenauer said in a press release. "Our federal marijuana laws are outdated, out of touch and have negatively impacted countless lives. Congress cannot continue to be out of touch with a movement that a growing majority of Americans support. It’s time to end this senseless prohibition.”
After issuing that statement, Blumenauer used a copy of the bill to roll up an epic blunt he blazed up in the Capitol Rotunda. Kidding.
Seriously — if the bill passes, the bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms would take over control of weed from the Drug Enforcement Administration, and pot would be sold in shops across the land.
And 4/20 would be named a national holiday. Kidding.
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