BEETLEJUICE SANDWORM LAMP
It’s like the old tale goes: say your ex’s name three times and the next thing you know they show up at the Rio necking down with your Instagram enemy — and they look great in person. All that, but in lamp form! Bring the classic film to life while you’re at home. Alone. D’oh.
HotTopic.com // $25
SPIDER PRANK BOX
Yeah, we get it, you saw the viral video on YouTube or wherever and you’ll never be tricked by such foolishness. Doesn’t mean your mom won’t. Or dad. Or mailman — who is also your dad. Pick one up for the thrill of it. Student loan payments shouldn’t be the only scary things in life.
Amazon.com // $6
IRON THRONE TOILET DECAL
Do you have to take a huge Jon Snow? Or maybe you’re one of the weird ones who like to sit when you Cersei. Either way it comes out, you’ll be straight flexin’ with an Iron Throne toilet decal. Do you need it? No. Do you want it? Yes. Dracarys!
Etsy.com // $30
HANDI SQUIRREL COSTUME
Are you lazy as fuck? Because this handy dandy hand squirrel (HA! WE MADE A JOKE!) is perfect for you stoners who choose a sedentary lifestyle over a productive one. (COUCH IS LIFE!) Simply slide on the accessories, show up to the party, and drink everyone else’s booze. It’s Halloween, freeloader style.
McPhee.com // $8
STAFF PICK: TINDER NIGHTMARES
Nothing is more frightening than showing up to a first date with someone you met online. Be they normal? Or be they ghoul!? This book by Uninspirational is a collection of that stuff, ripped right from the screen. Perfectly scary stories for a fall evening around the fire.
ThriftBooks.com // $5