Kids are adorable, but also fun-killing poop machines.

Talk to any parent, and they'll tell you how amazing it is to have kids … but mostly because it's too late for them to return the little monsters to the hospital and make a break for Mexico. 

One dad who's telling it like it is (and making us laugh our asses off in the process) is James Breakwell, known as Exploding Unicorn on Twitter. A comedy writer, he's laying it down one tweet at a time, showcasing exactly how awful parenthood really is. Funny, but also awful.