This sounds absolutely terrible. And very intriguing … 

Okay, when this story first buzzed across the Internet, we were psyched. Can you imagine an adorable toddler lisping, "I want you to hit me as hard as you can!" and then another tiny human swinging his doughy little fist at him? Or a child that can barely talk trying to perform Tyler Durden's soliloquies about consumerism? Admit it: that's awesome. We imagined something kinda like this video, but without Will Ferrell:

Tragically, we were wrong. It's actually two asshats making kids fight. That's not cool. Two former employees at a New Jersey daycare center are accused of instigating fights among children, filming the tiny adorable battles, and calling them a "Fight Club." Erica Kenny and Chanese White are facing child abuse charges for the alleged incidents at Lightbridge Academy in Cranford, Union County.

Kenny, 22, and White, 28, are accused of staging fights among a dozen children, ages 4 to 6, on at least one day in August. They both face fourth-degree child abuse charges, and Kenny faces an additional charge of third-degree endangering the welfare of a child. If convicted, they could face up to 5 years in prison.

They allegedly coordinated the fights and recorded the children shoving each other, pushing each other to the ground and attempting to strike each other, prosecutors said. Kenny then allegedly shared those videos on Snapchat.

So not only are they making little kids fight, but they're breaking the first two rules of Fight Club. What a bunch of dicks. 

Thankfully, because the children's bones are still soft, no one sustained any serious injuries. 

In unrelated news, we're still looking forward to any enterprising elementary schools who want to tackle a stage adaptation of "Fight Club."