Oh Denver, what’s happened? You’ve made every other worthless Top 10 list known to man

Oh Denver, what’s happened? You’ve made every other worthless Top 10 list known to man for your skyline beauty, inflated housing market and healthy outdoor lifestyle. Unfortunately, the accolades of yesteryear weren’t enough to inspire the population within the city walls to go out and purchase a few extra bedroom accessories. 

According to Amazon sales data, sex toys are a growing consumer fad across the nation, leaving customers satisfied beyond their wildest dreams. Denver though, missed the memo. The millennial mecca for young chaps chasing the American Dream must be too busy starting businesses and smoking the devils plant to consider purchasing a “sexual wellness product” for their bedroom prowess. 

Luckily, these other 10 cities are doing their part to fill the sex toy empty space left open by Denverites and for this we thank you Florida — even if you’re only purpose is to serve a God’s waiting room. 

1. Miami, Florida
2. Orlando, Florida
3. Alexandria, Virginia
4. Cambridge, Massachusetts
5. Seattle, Washington
6. Berkeley, California
7. Ann Arbor, Michigan
8. Atlanta, Georgia
9. Gainesville, Florida
10. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania