Being a Yelper doesn't make you immune to criticism yourself …

It's a worst nightmare scenario for small business owners: You put up your best work, spend grueling hours delivering what you feel is an exceptional product to customers, and when you get home, Yelp attacks and discredits everything good you think you're doing. One stupid little star. Though it's not often a fair assessment of what's actually going on in the real world, bad reviews are bad for business. However, one local restaurateur is taking an original approach to the pretentious bullshit — if you plan on negatively coming at Onefold in Denver, CO, without constructive criticism, prepare to have it thrown right back.

As an example, Michael U. (who has over 3200 reviews on Yelp), went on a lengthy rant about how awful the service was, saying between the food tasting "subpar" and the atmosphere being unacceptable to his liking,"it would be hard to fathom a worse overall experience than the one that was offered." It continues on to well over 8 stacked paragraphs about the experience (read the bloated review here).

Owner Mark Nery didn't appreciate the stuffy assessment:

"Hey mike , sorry tldr; most of it. You can review our restaurant but I can't review your writing? You do write with a prose that reminds me of a high school valedictorian that try's way too hard to sound intelligent. However that's my opinion just like your opinion of our congee. To be fair I would like to review your visit as well, I won't make it as long and boring as yours. Creepy guy walks in, creeps out workers and customers. Asked for wifi password ducked behind computer, other customer walked up complained that you may be watching PORN confronted you and verified told you to turn off, you tell me how important of a food critic you are and write a bad review after you demolished all of the food I gave you. Verified with other restaurant friends of mine how creepy you were on your visits to their establishments and how you requested special treatment because you are a 'food critic'. Btw you were not watching normal porn, however I am sure the fbi will catch you soon. You creepy pervert."

Unconventional, sure, but who hasn't wanted to snap at someone who thinks the whole "customer is always right" thing actually exists? As a recipient of many awards around town in just over a year of being in business, Onefold is a destination that will likely be able to back up its retribution. To be honest, the attention it's garnering in the media right now is probably going to boost sales in quantifiable ways. Circle of life …

All of the negative reviews and Nery's hilarious rebuttals are still on the site as of press time even though it's going through "Active Cleanup" because of the attention it's receiving.

This weekend, you can either choose a brunch spot based on the opinions of disgruntled keyboard warriors or support an owner who's dedicated enough to fight back against those who probably feel they're immune to harsh criticism themselves. We choose the latter. 

Who's hungry?

photo: Romeo Fernandez for 303Magazine