Hooker and John ask police to settle a money dispute over sexual encounter
A man and a woman face prostitution charges after they solicited the help of a nearby police officer  to settle a dispute as to whether the John’s payment was intended for sex, as she claimed, or was to “purchase new clothes at the Dollar Store,” as he claimed. Pro tip: when sex costs as much as clothes from the Dollar Store, pass on the sex. 
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Private school sells parents $120 bulletproof plates to put in their child’s backpack
In an effort to prevent students being shot during school shootings, a private school in Miami is selling parents a bulletproof plate for $120 that fits inside their child’s backpack, weighs one pound and can stop most handgun bullets. School officials also introduced the school’s new janitor, Robocop.
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Instagram Star’s only talents include theft and felonies 
John  Robert Hill, better known to his 4 million fans from around the world as “Boonk,” is a 21-year-old aspiring rapper who spends his time filming crimes he commits. In one of his viral videos, Boonk harasses Chic-fil-A staff, jumping on the counter in underwear and smashing milkshakes on his talentless body. In others, he steals from vendors or yells at Carl’s Jr. employees. There’s a joke here, and he’s it.
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Chairman of company admits to spanking female employee, claims doctor told him to do it
H. Brandt Ayers, chairman of an Alabama publishing company facing claims of sexual misconduct, stated that his doctor told him in order to calm down his female employee who had taken many days off, he needed to forcibly spank her. She was one of many women accusing Ayers of spanking, which again proves, you should never take medical advice from WebMD. 
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Woman searches “How to kill someone and not get caught” before killing husband, and getting caught
A Texas woman charged with killing her husband told police an armed robber came into their house and shot her husband before stealing money and fleeing. Upon searching the residence, police found a .38 that matched the murder bullets and incriminating searches for “How to kill someone and not get caught” on her electronic devices. There’s a good lesson to be learned from all of this: never underestimate Incognito mode.

[cover photo by Branden Harvey on Unsplash]