There are many public restrooms in Hollywood, but nothing's quite as satisfying as unloading yesterday's dinner onto Trump.
Restrooms are great. Believe us, we've been in several, and they're really something.
However, the one thing that's holding them back from attaining 100 percent perfection is their complete and utter lack of Donald Trump paraphernalia for us to shit on.
Luckily for L.A. residents and tourists, Donald Trump's Hollywood Walk of Fame star presents a nice substitute.
During the past few weeks, his star has been defaced with more human and animal shit than a Coachella Port-O-Potty, prompting concern that it may have to be removed, if only to stop people from pooping on it in public.
Trump's star has also received several other slow-clap worthy vandalisms recently, including being branded with a swastika, getting adorned with a spray-painted "mute" button, getting showered in human and animal piss and being tagged with words like "racist pig." In fact, a man who dresses up as Batman on the boulevard told The Wrap he'd seen more hate projected towards Trump's star than anyone's, including Bill Cosby's. (Someone wrote 'rapist' all over Cosby's star in 2014.)
Batman also noted seeing a large number of people stomping on Trump's star or pretending to poop on it during times when they had no actual poop to give.
But despite rumors about it's possible removal, it's likely to stay right where it is. Leon Gubler, president of the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce, issued a statement to the L.A. Times saying that even when they're repeatedly defaced by mobs of angry tourists, stars simply don't get removed.
"Once a star has been added to the Walk, it is considered a part of the historic fabric of the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Because of this, we have never removed a star from the walk," he said.
Great! Well now we know where the overflow bathroom is in Hollywood.
Shit on, good people. Shit on.