Last Friday, a comedian named Ari Teman rented out his Manhattan apartment on Airbnb to a man who said he would be staying there with his family. But when he returned home, he discovered his house was being used as a venue for a "BBW XXX Fuck Fest."
Last Friday, a comedian named Ari Teman rented out his Manhattan apartment on Airbnb to a man who said he would be staying there with his family. But when he returned home, he discovered his house was being used as a venue for a "BBW XXX Fuck Fest."
Ari had rented out his house to a man named David; a fellow who had great Airbnb reviews and seemed like a stand-up gentleman. David said he would be staying there with his family for a wedding. But, when David said he'd be "staying with family," what he really meant was "hosting a panty-raid orgy with big, beautiful women and beat-up stuffed animals." Um, hello? Where was our invite?
David even published Ari's address on Twitter to advertise the "XXX FREAK FEST."
Ari unknowingly stumbed upon the orgy when he returned to his apartment to pick up some luggage. He was in the lobby of his building, when he ran into David, running around and telling people, "They're shutting us down!" When Ari asked David what, exactly, they were shutting down, David gave him one of those "Oh, fuckity fuck" looks and backed away. Ari went upstairs to his apartment, and walked straight into the fuck fest.
“The worst part of the Internet right there was in my apartment," Ari said. The orgy was apparently causing such a ruckus, and so many BBW's were getting their panties raided, that the building's management was in the process of shutting it down.
By that point, Ari noticed damage to his furniture and musical equipment, as well as bags of condoms and liquor lying around that he said weren't his. What did he expect? You can't have a BBW orgy sober.
"I had to call 911 and have these “XXX Freak Fest” people removed from my apartment, my super is having me evicted by my landlord, and I do not feel safe here anymore since hundreds of people got a text saying there’s an XXX sex fest in my apartment and continue showing up, according to the doormen who I’ll never be able to look in the face again," Ari said, probably peeved that he wasn't invited.
David, meanwhile, asserts that he did nothing wrong. According to him, his rental agreement with Ari stated that he could have up to 50 guests and he denies that he was even having a party. Oh yeah, sorry … "fuck fest," not "party." Our bad.
Airbnb came through and took David off their site, as well as reimbursed Ari for the damages and put him up in a hotel, which was nice of them. But you know what, children? This whole situation could have been avoided if Ari had taken two seconds to Google David's phone number, which is associated with something called "Munch Da Mouth." Then those BBWs could have got the love they deserved, elsewhere, like our office.
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