We'll miss you, big guy … but we can't market you to hipsters, so fuck off. 

Just like always, hipsters ruin everything. Since Dos Equis isn't "craft" or "artisinal," their sales have been lagging — and that means that the fatherly "Most Interesting Man in the World" is getting the axe. 

"Culture has changed very dramatically," since the commercials debuted, Andrew Katz, vice president of marketing for Dos Equis, says. "Our Millennial drinker has changed quite dramatically, and the competition has only exploded with the advent of craft (beer). We just want to make sure that the (Most Interesting Man) story evolves."

So what's the punishment for not being "hip" and "with it"? Well, take a look below. 

Yup. A one-way ticket to Mars, to probably die in the empty vaccuum of space. 

Though the specific character played in TV ads by veteran actor Jonathan Goldsmith, 77, won't be back, another equally interesting and likely younger man will take his place, Katz says.  Dos Equis plans to revamp the popular commercials in order to keep their edge for a new generation of customers.

That's ageism, and that's wrong. 

Are you happy now, hipsters?