"I think I just shark-ted …"

We aren't anything if not completely addicted to the era-defining chronicles of Shark Tank. In fact, we feel like we pretty much know everything about business because of our weekend binges, and plan on going forward with some of the ideas we've had inside of our heads for years now in light of the inspiration we grab from it. Hoodies without sleeves? You're going to be buying 5 next year — be on the lookout …

But there's never really been anything we could drink while watching, so we made up our own. Presenting, the Shark Tank cocktail. Complete with ferocious sharks swimming around inside of it and enough booze to feel somewhat okay with still living at home with mom and Jerry the stepdad.


  • 1 oz. Malibu Rum
  • 0.5 oz. Vodka
  • 0.5 oz. Blue Curacao
  • 0.5 oz. Grenadine
  • Sprite
  • Gummy Sharks (Available at any 7-11)


Add rum, vodka and Blue Curacao all into a shaker over ice and jostle the shit out of it. Pour into any kind of a glass you want (wine glasses look the coolest) because this is your life and you shouldn't let anyone tell you what to do. Next, spear a gummy shark with a straw or add a couple to the chalice to really strike fear into everyone around you. Add ice. Then, dump the Grenadine in — adding a 'bloody' effect that will be sure to frighten and awe your audience. Top with Sprite to mellow out the flavor. 
Tip: Quadruple, even quintuple the process and use a clear bowl for a massive drink you can either split with friends or drink yourself before completely passing out at the park and missing the entire rest of the night because you're ass up on a friend's couch with no cognizant perspective of time (Or add a bunch of ice and blend it for a cooling patio treat).