“I am predicting that, once computers are doing the driving, there will be a lot more sex in cars”
Driverless cars used to be a construct of a fictional future, but have quickly become an expensive perk on new car lines. Tesla has already sold thousands of its new Model X, which comes with the option for semiautonomous driving, meaning you can merely push a button for hands-free driving. That sounds great to most everyone, except for the few experts who believe that once your hands are free from the constraints of driving the car, they’ll most likely head to the next best distraction, your genitals.
“I am predicting that, once computers are doing the driving, there will be a lot more sex in cars,” said Barrie Kirk of the Canadian Automated Vehicles Centre of Excellence.
We like where Kirk’s head is, but he's operating on the assumption that when people don’t have to worry about driving a vehicle, they’re only other option to kill time is to have sex. Again, we like where Kirk’s head is at. But if you’ve ever had sex in a car, you know it’s a tedious and cumbersome act that’s not good for anyone. So the best logical option is that drivers and passengers alike will resort to tons of road head and hand jobs. Damn animals!
Recent news reports show that Tesla drivers who engaged in other activities when driving — reading a newspaper or brushing their teeth — were more likely to turn their focus away from the road and rely heavily on autopilot.
According to our friend Kirk, "[Fucking] is one of several things people will do which will inhibit their ability to respond quickly when the computer says to the human, 'Take over.’”
So much for the weekend plans. Looks like we’ll just have to rely on the old fashioned autopilot of using our knee to drive when we engage in questionable practices.