Even before we got the chance to flip the page on our “Puppies Running Through Fields” calendar, the holiday season came in with fervent bombardment. Did anyone else notice that we’re just skipping Thanksgiving now? There’s still Halloween candy on the shelves that's generously marked-down for the purpose of quickly making room for the items coming in. Items filled to the fake pine-scented brim with Christmas fucking cheer.

If that wasn’t enough, there’s been a heavy release of holiday-themed albums already. Some of the more poorly timed thematic travesties include works from Kelly Clarkson, Mary J. Blige and even Bad Religion. (We did not see that one coming.)

But the one album that’s making the most stink in the pre-pre-holiday madness is by none other than those lucrative licensing lunatics behind the Duck Dynasty Empire. “Duck The Halls: A Robertson Family Christmas” hit shelves mere days before the All Hallows Eve festivities, and is projected to make a top 5 appearance on the Billboard charts. Yiiiiikes.

We’re just going to let that sink in for a moment.

The album includes remakes of holiday classics the likes of “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer,” “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” and “Silent Night.” It’s also ripe with original works aptly titled “Camouflage and Christmas Lights” and “Ragin’ Cajun Redneck Christmas.”

Such as in all things meth, we don’t always have to blame the cooks. It’s a basic supply and demand chain that’s fueled by insatiable appetites for vice laden products that may or may not kill you. We’re not mad at you America, just a little disappointed.