Finally entertainment that we can truly come to appreciate. Ever since we landed a day job and couldn't watch Maury anymore, we've been feening for some primetime entertainment that captures the beauty and shock of unplanned parenthood.
Orlando Shaw is a 33-year-old caring father who made headlines last month when a court ordered him to pay child support for all 22 of his children whom he has with 14 women. The total: $7,000 a month in support. As one might imagine, Orlando didn't have that kind of money and according to Orlando, the judge had the wrong numbers anyway; he has roughly 18 kids with 17 women. Nonetheless, he loves everyone of his kids, wanted 50 to carry on his legacy and doesn't care what anyone else thinks.
In Orlando's words
“I was young and ambitious and I loved women. Hey, you can’t knock no man for loving women.”
Amen, Orlando. And evidently, Hollywood agrees. Agencies have contacted the responsible father looking to sign him for a reality TV show featuring his 22 kids and 14 baby mamas, which he insists he has a great relationship with each one. The name of the show is aptly named "Deadbeat." And we're sure ratings will skyrocket once the show goes on air. The agency that signed Orlando has yet to be revealed, but the sum of money could be significant, even when it's garnished to pay for child support.
Last month, Orlando said he plans on getting "fixed" so he doesn't have anymore children. After news he might have a TV show in the works, he had this to say about a vasectomy:
“Have you seen the movie War Horse? I’m a war horse and I don’t want to be cut down there and it won’t work the right way no more.”
If there's one thing you shouldn't do Orlando, it's exercise restraint. You're almost halfway to the 50-child mark for carrying on your legacy. Don't fail us now. Overpopulation is only a government conspiracy trying to turn us into zombies.