It's no secret that cartels have infiltrated Colorado's underground drug market, but who would have thought that the today's most ruthless drug lords would be a group of industrious fourth graders?
It's no secret that cartels have infiltrated Colorado's underground drug market, but who would have thought that the today's most ruthless drug lords would be a group of industirous fourth graders?
Nobody, except the band of unruly gangsters themselves, who, prior to their capture, were making an upwards of $11 per deal, more than enough to buy a pack of baseball cards or gum.
The mini-gangsters were caught buying and selling their grandparent's weed and edibles on an elementary school playground on Tuesday. One of the boys, who had recently feigned interest in visiting his grandparents in order to ransack their drug supply, had been selling herb to three other fourth-graders.
But when it was time to pay up, one of the kiddos emptied his pockets to find nothing but lint, paper clips, and, oh, a weed brownie. The emerging business magnate then suggested that he trade his share of the weed for one of his grandparents brownies. And thus, a menagerie of Grandpa's medicine were exchanged between the barely-formed hands of the wayward group.
One of the kids took a big old bite out of the brownie, hoping to get fucked enough to float all his multiplication table trouble away, but he didn't suffer any side effects … this hardened criminal probably had built up a tolerance to THC, being that he was so badass.
In a letter that went home with students, the school district's safety director, John Gates, said, "We urge all parents, grandparents and anyone who cares for children to treat marijuana as you would prescription drugs, alcohol or even firearms. This drug is potentially lethal to children, and should always be kept under lock and key, away from young people."
Meh; he was probably just worried that the kids extensive marijuana dealings would hurt the business of his own underground weed empire. Colorado, man.