Bourbon is hot as fuck right now. Distillers are making more of it than they did in the golden age of disco, topping out at 5 million barrels this year. So you don't feel left out of yet another trend, here's what bourbon is and some fancy shit you can do with it so you're not the douche in a fanny pack drinking Four Loko again.

Bourbon is hot as fuck right now. Distillers are making more of it than they did in the golden age of disco, topping out at 5 million barrels this year. So you don't feel left out of yet another trend, here's what bourbon is and some fancy shit you can do with it so you're not the douche in a fanny pack drinking Four Loko again.

What the fuck is bourbon?

Bourbon is a corn-based whiskey that's aged in new, charred, oak barrels for at least two years. Bourbon can only be produced in the U.S.; however, many will contend that bourbon can only be really made in Kentucky. While 95 percent of the world's bourbon is made in Kentucky, there are a few distilleries that are throwing tradition to the wind and setting up shop right here, right now. 

So, what's the difference between whiskey and bourbon?

As long as the mash is made of grain, the liquor will be considered whiskey. But, for a whiskey to be considered bourbon, the mash must contain at least 51 percent corn. Also, whiskey has to be aged in oak barrels, and bourbon's barrels must be oak, new, and charred on the inside. The devil is in the details my friends, in the details. 

What's the difference between straight and blended bourbon?

Straight bourbon is bourbon that has been aged for at least two years in the charred oak barrels, and it is what it says: just whiskey. Blended bourbon has to be at least 51 percent bourbon, but can also contain un-aged neutral grain spirits, flavorings and added color. So if you want to drink the real shit, just get straight bourbon.

What the fuck does sour mash mean?

You'll see sour mash on the bottles of many bourbons. Sour mash, is when the distiller takes some mash from a previous batch and mixes it into the current mash. The acids and sugars already released in the sour mash help the fermentation along quite nicely and leave you with a fiery spirit that will either make your night more classy, or black you the fuck out, depending on how fast you pound it.  

Why is it so gross?

Bourbon is not gross, you're just not doing it right. Never take a shot of bourbon, there's too many flavors to savor, and if you wanna do that whiskey is way cheaper. Take bourbon either neat or on the rocks. It's a complex spirit that initially tastes like sweet, charred oak  and will burn like hell. When you're drinking bourbon, take small sips and understand the barrel it was aged in. You'll seem sophisticated as shit.  If you can't do it straight, go for an Old Fashioned or a bourbon sour. But if you order the latter, you will be laughed at – just a warning. 

Make it yourself 

Old Fashioned

You don't have to tell anyone what it's called, so long as you make it right:

2 oz bourbon
1/2 oz simple syrup
4 dashes bitters
splash of club soda if you like bubbles

Pour all in a glass with ice and stir. Garnish with an orange slice and maraschino cherry. 

Bourbon Glaze

1 cup bourbon
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 clove minced garlic
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
1 Tbs Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbs honey
1 tsp ground mustard

Put all ingredients in a saucepan and simmer for about 10 minutes, or until it's reduced to the consistency you prefer. Reduce it a bit more than is necessary and add more bourbon once it's cooled if you want your sauce to be boozy and give your blood a quick kick of alcohol. Glaze chicken, salmon or pork and don't forget your fork. 

Bourbon Caramel Sauce

1 cup sugar
1/4 cup water
1/2 cup heavy cream
3 tbs bourbon
pinch of salt

Melt sugar in to water in a saucepan over medium heat for about 15 minutes, swirling to stir. Don't leave the stove or sip your drink just yet, this is important and you don't want to burn it. When it turns a nice amber color, take it off the heat and slowly mix in the cream bourbon, and salt. Add as much bourbon as you feel like at this point. Put the sauce in the fridge until you're ready, then drizzle it over ice cream, pie, your lover or whatever you sweet tooth is telling you.