Lazily breaking news: Real Housewives of New York City star Bethenny Frankel is launching Skinnygirl weed, a strain of marijuana specially formulated to get you high without giving you the munchies.

Lazily breaking news: Real Housewives of New York City star Bethenny Frankel is launching Skinnygirl weed, a strain of marijuana specially formulated to get you high without giving you the munchies. 

… Yeah, well, we're still going to eat 37 pizza rolls because fuck you Mom!

It will be a specially engineered strain of pot designed to not give you the munchies,” one of Bethenny's minions said. “She read about how profitable the cannabis industry is and wants to get in on that.” WASP-rap can also be very profitable, as Real Housewife Kim Zolciak demonstrated a few years back with this harrowing number:

Fucking hell, Bethenny, your weed strain can't come soon enough.

The weight-conscious weed strain will soon be available in all the states where recreational weed is legal: Alaska, Washington, Oregon and your favorite, Colorado. We're predicting it'll be very popular among young women who sell real estate, adore yoga, drive Jettas, and are named Jessica.

"OMG it's the craziest thing to see marijuana legal in Aspen. People walking into pot stores like it's the @Gap #prohibitiondone,” Bethenny tweeted on Dec. 20. OMG!

We see just one little problem with Bethenny's diabolical plan to rule an army of fat stoners: weed that gets you high will always make you hungry.

Do you know how marijuana works? We'll tell you how marijuana works.

Marijuana is full of THC.

THC tricks your brain into thinking your body has entered a state of starvation. It also increases you sense of smell so you become a ravenous, chalupa eating machine. Blah blah blah, THC makes you hungry.

CBDs, the other active compound in marijuana, don't.

Designing a munchie-free marijuana strain is only possible if the THC:CBD ratio is super low. Theerfore, Skinnygirl marijuana would be the exact same thing as any high CBD strain of devil's grass, just marketed towards people with love handles.

However, Bethenny has created an empire out of selling fattening products as non-fattening products to people with love handles (see: Skinnygirl vodka).  So we're sure that regardless of the bunk science at work behind her special skinny strain, she'll do quite well wallet-wise.