Computer nerds and marijuana go together like Cheech and Chong. If you spent your days crouching in a dim room, diving into the dark depths of the web, and only leaving your cave for an occasional batch of pizza bagels, you’d probably get stoned, too.
But when your computing powers are needed to aid the US government, stuffy intelligence agencies won’t respect your passion to puff. As of late, the strict ‘pee in a cup’ policies are considerably complicating recruitment for federal positions. The FBI in particular needs novel cybersecurity, but is hard-pressed to find hackers that don’t double as stoners.
Barring anti-pot protocol, working for the government is already a hard sell. Hackers can find far more lucrative deals elsewhere, working for private firms in Silicon Valley or even executing black-hat hacking. But tack on FBI director James Comey’s staunch policy prohibiting the use of marijuana within the past three years, and you’ve got a highly undesirable job opening.
Comey has lamented, “I have to hire a great workforce to compete with [global] cyber-criminals, and some of those kids want to smoke weed on the way to the interview.” Over his extensive law-enforcement career, Comey has made clear that despite several states sanctioning it, he intensely upholds federal laws against marijuana use.
In the past, the bureau has recognized that their guidelines kept experts off the payroll, and loosened up their drug policies to appeal to new recruits. Before the last alteration in 2007, anyone who had smoked pot more than 15 times in their lifetime was disqualified from consideration.
Relaxing restrictions for marijuana once again would make sense in the current climate. It’s more apparent than ever that the US government doesn’t possess the most comprehensive cyber-security. And with the need for thousands of new recruits to fight cyber-crime, any alterations in hiring practices that appeal to top-notch hackers should be implemented. Comey is currently grappling with this issue, so he has publicly encouraged smokers to apply, but the official FBI protocols remain unchanged.
Ironically enough, plenty of evidence suggests that cannabis can be conducive to a hacker’s performance. Several researchers have found that the altered state of mind induced by cannabis can stimulate creativity and increase focus, depending upon the strain type and who’s smoking it. Some people are more intoxicated by pot than others, and anecdotally, many highly functional smokers claim to be more productive under weed’s influence.
And now that the majority of modern Americans support marijuana legalization, we should be able to embrace our stoner tech experts. Let them take a toke while they work their magic at the keyboard. In the near future, if the FBI can’t loosen up its policies on pot, it may no longer have a pot to piss in.
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