We're not exactly sure which words Virgina has banned, but our guess is that they include "personal liberty," "free speech," and "philandering fuckboy."
Despite it heavily not being North Korea or post-colonial America in the year 1827, Virginia police are actually enforcing a law the state passed to ban cussing.
The ordinance bans “profanity” and classifies it as a Class 4 misdemeanor, punishable by a fine.
In some cities like Arlington, you can even be fined a hefty $250 if you're caught saying words country officials have defined as "profane."
Weirder still, the anti-cursing law has been around for years, but Virginia plice have requested that the fine for "fuck yous" and "fecal fucks" be increased from $100 to $250. The Arlington Police Department alone reported making 664 arrests for public inebriation as well as “potty language” in 2014, so … that's a fat chunk of fucking change, fuck.
We're not exactly sure which words Virgina has banned, but our guess is that they include "personal liberty," "free speech," and "philandering fuckboy." To that end, we'd also like to mention that the cussing ban does not specify specific banned words, which seems to leave the definition of "profane" entirely up to the subjective opinion of individual police. DAFUQ?
Probably the shittiest part of this is that, given how commonly people swear, banning certain words from the public lexicon is a recipe for selective enforcement and false arrests. Not exactly conducive to dealing with today's mega-problem of police brutality, is it? And don't even get us started on how big of a breach of the First Amendment this is … but hey, somehow Virginians voted to pass this law, so if they want to live in a world where they live in fear of words and their over-prescribed meanings, fuck 'em.
If you need us, we'll be in Colorado, shouting "HAPPY FUCKING FRIDAY YOU SHITHEAD" to everyone we meet, only to be met with a the appreciative, optic white smile of our fellow man.
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