Do tase me, bro.

For the price of one Subway $5 Foot-Long, lucky residentes of Van Meter, Iowa are getting the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to tase the shit out of city officials.  Alriiiiight! Take back the night!

The Des Moines Register reports that the Van Meter City Hall is selling raffle tickets as part of a public safety fundraiser, and the winner will get to make the Sophie's Choice between tasing City Administrator Jake Anderson or Councilman Bob Lacy at the Van Meter Fire Association Street Dance on July 18. Democracy at its finest.

Naturally, a police officer will assist the raffle winner using the Taser, so it's not like the city officials are going to get vaporized or anything (although it's not like police are experts at using them). All the proceeds will go toward helping the local police department purchase a second squad car (big pimpin), add speed radar and potentially expand its six-member part-time and reserve force.

According to Jake Anderson, the brilliant, very 'merican idea came up during a meeting with police about funding. Lacy volunteered for the event so Anderson, who also volunteered, would have competition and blah blah blah, where do we sign?

These Iowans are really living the dream. Never has there been a more culturally appropriate application of the old "eye for an eye" adage. Imagine if every time a city official did something nefarious, they just got mildly tased by society much in the same way you spray your dog with water when it pees on the carpet … what a wonderful Pangea it would be.

Plus,  we've literally never even thought about Iowa, so we weren't sure whether it truly existed, but now it suddently seems like a wonderful place to raise a family. Of course, there's no legal weed there, but we're sure some officials could be tased otherwise?