You've waited your whole god damn genetic lineage for this, and next year if you're rich as hell, you'll finally be able to buy a jetpack and ride it into the sunset like a golden god.

You've waited your whole god damn genetic lineage for this, and next year if you're rich as hell, you'll finally be able to buy a jetpack and ride it into the sunset like a golden god.

This could be you:

Yes, minions, the world's first commercial jetpack, The Martin Jetpack, is going on sale in 2016. The thing recently debuted at the Paris Airshow where it rather ostentatiously flew around shocking people as they realized the future isn't tomorrow, ESTA AHORA.

The Martin Jetpack has an approved altitude of 3,000 feet, tops out at about 50 miles per hour, and can stay in the air for 30 minutes at a time, which is more than enough time to rocket through the Taco Bell drive through. All that sounds both sick and dope, but the small problem is that it costs around $150,000, meaning 2016 is probably still going to be the Year of the Corolla for your loser ass.

Martin Aircraft will start delivering the jetpack to customers/ heiresses/ Robert Downey Jr. in the second half of next year. However to avoid Rich Crazy Guy Syndrome, they'll mostly be offering the jetpack to first responders such as police, paramedics and firefighters. The hope there is that those working in emergency services find the jetpack useful in situations where standard vehicles are too bulky or flightless to be effective. Martin's CEO, Peter Coker, told Reuters the jetpack will be able to land on rooftops covered with wires and fly through tight spaces. Well yeehaw, guess who's rescuing your kitten from that tree? ROBOCOP, BITCHES 42069.

The jetpack is "apparently" safe—which is comforting since it'll be catapulting you through space and time like a limp fish. Martin says the flying death trap has built-in safety features similar to those in a Formula One car, and includes a "ballistic parachute system" that can be deployed a few feet from the ground so you don't break your butt and you save your 150K investment at the same time. 

Well, we'd say it's about high time that jetpacks replace old fashioned cars, but there's one advantage cars have over flying future mobiles: you can't lose your virginity to Zakk the Prom Prince in the back of a jetpack, so … there.