Pretty sure it has something to do with the sentence "giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming." Disgusting.
Everyone’s least favorite washed-up musician/egomaniac Morrissey has been racking up the accolades for years. His latest piece of hardware; however, isn’t something ol’ Moz will be showcasing in his illustrious curio cabinet anytime soon.
Every year since 1993, The Literary Review gives a backhanded award to the very worst written sex scene in literature with their annual Bad Sex in Writing Award. To win, selected passages must display "poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction," and winners are publicly shamed with the hope of discouraging them from ever writing anymore bullshit like that again. And this year, f*cking Morrissey has been deemed the 2015 winner thanks to a godawful passage from his godawful book ‘List of the Lost.’
Morrissey is in solid company nonetheless. Literary heavyweights Norman Mailer and John Updike were also recipients of the undesired award in previous years.
Here’s the now-famously terrible excerpt:
The judges were swayed by an ecstatic scene involving Ezra, one of the athletes, and his plucky girlfriend, Eliza: ‘At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.
Jesus fucking Christ. You can’t un-write that, Morrissey…
However, speaking of things Morrissey can't unwrite, we've discovered it's possible to make a sexy little haiku out of his song titles that far outdoes his attempt at eroticism:
The more you ignore me, the closer I get
I just want to see my boy happy
All you need is me
Let me kiss you
Because of my poor education
It's hard to walk tall when you're small
If you don't like me, don't look at me
Don't make fun of Daddy's voice
Ha ha, take that, you literary lush!
Naturally, Morrissey was unavailable to accept the award in person, or for comment. He was probably too picking the meat out of a roast beef sandwich.