A plane en route from Baltimore to Salt Lake City was forced to make an emergency landing after a woman's excessive horniness deemed her unfit to fly the friendly skies.

A plane en route from Baltimore to Salt Lake City was forced to make an emergency landing after a woman's excessive horniness deemed her unfit to fly the friendly skies.

The woman, whose sex drive was so powerful that it overwhelmed the plane's ability to maneuver safely, was "excessively intoxicated" when she made several "aggressive sexual advances" towards her male seat mate. Maybe it was the fact that he was probably a Mormon flying home to Salt Lake City to see his wives and 13 children, or maybe it was the prospect of being sent to prison for violating federal aviation rules, but either, way, he refused air sex with her.

But whereas any normal person would have just quietly headed to the restroom to masturbate alone in the sky after such a rejection, the woman became insanely enraged that he didn't want to have sex with her. She then became loud, abusive, and threatened to "fucking kill" the man, whose only crime was not having sex with her on a plane in front of 200 men, women, and screaming children.

Here's a video!

After a while, the pilot decided the flight would be much more enjoyable for everyone if they dropped her off somewhere, anywhere, so they made a quick pit stop in Minneapolis and handed her over to authorities. She was on Delta, but we're just glad it wasn't Virgin America, ha ha ha.

So long story short, if anyone in Minneapolis is horny right now, we've got the hook up! Beep us.