Denver has the second-fastest growing rental market in the country. Thousands of people are moving here, but with a 96% rental home occupancy rate, rental prices are skyrocketing as desirable places to live disappear at unprecedented rates. And that made us wonder; how far will people go to live in Denver? How much will they pay to live inside city limits? What kind of weird, shitty living situations would they endure? Well, for starters, they'd live with baboons.

Denver has the second-fastest growing rental market in the country. Thousands of people are moving here, but with a 96% rental home occupancy rate, rental prices are skyrocketing as desirable places to live disappear at unprecedented rates. And that made us wonder; how far will people go to live in Denver? How much will they pay to live inside city limits? What kind of weird, shitty living situations would they endure? Well, for starters, they'd live with baboons.

We tested our question by placing a fake ad on the Denver Craigslist to see how far people were willing to go to live here. It advertised a "unique opportunity to live with baboons."

But before we get to the kinds of responses we got to that, here are some facts, compiled by Axiometrics, about Denver's rental market to get you in the mood.

  • Rents in the Denver area grew 9 percent on average from July of 2013 to this July, which was the second-fastest rate in the country behind San Francisco.
  • The nationwide rental market growth rate was 4 percent.
  •  Rental rates have risen at an above-average pace in the Denver area for about four years.
  • Rental unit occupancy is at 96 percent. That means you're competing with a massive influx of new residents for four percent of available units.
  • The average monthly rent in Denver is $1,041.
  • The largest increases were found in Denver County and the Boulder/Broomfield area, where average rents grew by 8.1 percent and 8.6 percent, respectively.
  • The rental boom is credited to job availability in the tech and MMJ sectors, amount of (previously) affordable housing, good education, and high quality of life.

We'd also credit the currently exploding music, comedy and art scenes, the craft beer industry, the insane amount of outdoor shit you can do, the food scene, the relatively mild weather (we said relatively, don't freak out), and the fact that everyone here is a highly-intelligent supermodel philanthropist. The marijuana industry was mentioned as a reason for Denver's population growth, but we're just gonna mention it again right … here. Yeah; there's no getting around it. Colorado is the best place to live right now.

Okay, so now that we've established how Denver and its surrounding metro area (yes, you Boulder,) is bringing all the boys the yard, let's see how people responded to our baboon ad. Here's it is.

Here's that text a bit bigger …

Hello,
I have a spacious bedroom + pvt. bath available in my home for rent. You have the top floor to yourself. Furnished and 420 friendly.

I work during the day as an exotic animal trainer, so the house is pretty much yours.

There's just one thing though, there are baboons.

They are really sweet and well-trained, and go potty in the toilet just like you. They do climb on the counters and tables and such, but I bathe them when I can. They eat fruit and leaves and get rather hungry, so you may have to feed them if I'm not home. They do not like dogs, though. Or the color red. Other than that, they are quite friendly! I've trained the big one to sort the mail. Sometimes they make a kind of shrill barking sound, but it's no different from a pet dog.

If you're looking for a unique housing opportunity and love animals, shoot me an email with "I love baboons" in the subject line so I know you're not fake.

I've had a lot of success with renting this place out quickly, so please respond by Oct. 5.

Please have recent rabies vaccine.

*please note the photo of the bedroom with the babies in is of my room

… and the photos we included in the post:

 

The first response to the baboon ad was what we'd expect anyone to say to an ad asking that much money to live in a veritable zoo.

But then … people started to write in responses showing actual interest, like this one.

And this:

Of course, some responses were things like this …

… but most were like these:

 

Okay … have you guys ever seen a baboon? They're terrible. They make this horrific squawking sound, fling poo with abandon, and are nearly impossible to domesticate. They DGAF about your upholstery or personal space, and they have an unsettling, cannibalistic taste for primate meat. You know who's a primate? You. There's even videos of them stealing puppies. Look it up. 

Long story short, you don't want to live with a baboon. But, somehow, people are still willing to pay nearly $1,000 per month to do it.

That in itself isn't a bad thing, and these people's interest in living with baboons is warranted. We mean, the concept of living with wild animals is intriguing, but after doing some cursory research about baboons and their puppy-stealing habits, would anyone really want to choose this housing option over one that say, didn't have a pair of murderous beasts roaming freely within it? Nevertheless, these results do allude to the current state of the housing market in Denver; people will do some crazy shit to live here.

Next week, we'll continue this theme with another Craigslist ad that begs the question, "will people rent a house that's currently on fire?"