I’m originally from the south and I have a family reunion coming up. I love my parents but my extended family is a nightmare. How do I proceed with this?

I got you! Just drum up some big city nonsense that deters them from trying to get too personal. “In the city we all share one communal shower. Men, women, gay, straight, trans, it’s one big sudsy pool of erotic entanglement .” That should keep the convo pretty baseline while you play horseshoes.

My girlfriend is from the Midwest and dips her fries in ranch. My mother is British and would put vinegar on her fries and I’ve adopted that. Our friends laugh at both of us. My question is, are we the only two people getting made fun of for our fry dipping choices?

If so, who cares! Your fries, your choice! Put whatever you want on them! Salsa, chutney, gravy, lube! Dunk those suckers in whatever you want and live your life!

I started therapy and I feel pretty good about my progress but I still have several fears I need to face and it’s difficult. Am I alone in this? Does everyone feel this way? What are some of your biggest fears?

First off, good for you! Therapy is always a good thing. My biggest fear? Scorpions! Is it a spider? Is it a crab? Is it a wasp? What are we even dealing with here?

Which song or artists are you embarrassed to admit you like?

I’m a big proponent of “like what you like with no apologies…unless that thing is white supremacy.” I will say, I’m a little hesitant to hit shuffle on my iTunes in a room full of people. I can’t promise the song “Mirrors” by Timberlake won’t pop up. Fuck that’s a good song.

I’m an actor and a lot of the time I don’t feel like I belong. How do I deal with “Imposter syndrome?”

Think of it this way, you’re an actor, your entire line of work is predicated on pretending to be someone else. Roll with that shit. No one knows what they’re doing, everyone else is just trying to make it work. Have you heard the song “Mirrors” by Justin Timberlake? Pump that before your auditions and get psyched! Fuck that’s a good song!

MIKE KNOWS BEST:
“A cool flex on your neighbors that start decorating for Christmas too early is to skip over it all together and start hanging up all of your St. Patrick’s day stuff.”