After the 2020 election, we were pretty worried that the absurdity of American politics was about to regress back to its pre-2016 form. We were almost certain that the nightmarish acid trip that everyone had lived for the last four years was over, and that it was time to return to our still laughable, but not as laughable patriotic roots.
Luckily, every time there’s a gap in headlines, or we’re lulled into a false sense of security regarding the future of American politics, we can turn to the ultimate redeemer, a beacon of bright light when politics becomes too diplomatic or humane. A gift that keeps on giving, her visceral remarks have caused many to metaphorically double take as she continues to shake up American politics through a surreal series of actions and words.
We’re talking, of course, about Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert, who in case you’ve ever wondered, recently confirmed that she gave birth in the front seat of her truck due to the constraints of her schedule.
In a preposterous series of words that we didn’t think we’d ever write while attending journalism classes, Boebert laid claim to spawning one of her four children in the front seat of her truck while criticizing Transport Secretary Pete Buttigieg’s announcement to take two months of paternity leave following his adoption of newborn twins.
Boebert began her stellar display of diplomatic authenticity by poking fun at the fact Buttigieg is gay, saying that he needed the two months off “to figure out how to chest feed.”
Unfortunately, that wasn’t even the main kicker, with Boebert going on to add that she gave birth in a truck because of how busy she was.
“"I delivered one of my children in the front seat of my truck. Because as a mom of four, we got things to do," said Boebert. “Ain’t nobody got time for two and a half months of maternity leave. We have a world to save here.”
This isn’t the first time that Boebert was under fire this week. Her campaign mistakenly identified her as a representative in Utah in a report that was filed to the Federal Election Commission on Thursday.
It’s worth noting that Boebert only confessed to birthing one of her four children in the truck, which causes us to assume the other three were either born at a firing range or a NASCAR race.