A few of our favorite jokes this month, because laughter is the best medicine … except when it comes to herpes.

A few of our favorite jokes this month, because laughter is the best medicine … except when it comes to herpes.

Ready, Aim, Fire

A pregnant woman got shot three times and recovered, but the bullets were never found. Later she had triplets, two girls and one boy. Many years later, the first girl came up to her mom and said she peed out a bullet. The next day the second came up, and the mother said, “Lemme guess, you peed out a bullet too?” She was right. The next day her young boy came up to his mom and says, “Mom, I’m so ashamed of what just happened” The mother replied, “Aw, honey, it’s all right, your sisters peed out a bullet too, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” “No, that’s not it.” he said. “I was rubbing myself, and I think I shot the dog.”

Sunday School

Emma didn’t get very much sleep one night, so she kept falling asleep at Sunday school. While she was sleeping, her teacher asked her, “Who created the universe?” The boy sitting next to her, Joey, poked her with his pencil to help her out. She jumped up and yelled, “God!” The teacher told her, “Good job!” and continued with the lesson.

Soon after, the teacher asked Emma another question, “Who died for our sins?” Again, Joey poked Emma as she slept. She woke up and yelled, “Jesus Christ!” The teacher praised her again and continued.

Not much time passed, and the teacher asked sleeping Emma, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?” Joey poked her and she yelled, “If you put that thing near me again, I’ll snap it in half and shove it up your ass!”

One-liners of the month

What sexual position leads to the ugliest children? Ask your mom!

And …

Why are Santa’s balls so big? Because he only comes once a year.