An Iowa man proved that there is no such thing as being as drunk as he was by breaking a breathalyzer with his insane BAC.

For years, the breathalyzer that attempted to read Levi Carter's BAC had been a finely-tuned instrument, functioning at the peak of its ability. Night after night, it fit snugly in the capable hands of the cop it rode with, reliably reading the blood alcohol content of countless roadside inebriates. Ever since it could remember, it had been accurate, loyal and true. Never once had it faltered, when it came to busting bad guys. It was truly a thing of precision, a spectacle of modern technology.

That is, until Levi Carter came along.

The breathalyzer had been lounging in the quad car, recharging after its latest conquest when the call about Levi came in. A passenger riding in his vehicle was worried Levi was too drunk to drive. Levi, the passenger reported, had been hurtling through a at 25mph at 55mph when he crashed his vehicle.Things were bad. Real bad.

A chill ran through the breathalyzer's Alcosensor…this one was going to be rough, but nothing it couldn't handle. Or so it thought…

But when the police arrived and Levi's lips met the breathalyzer's, all that changed. Everything faded away as the breathalyzer froze, unable to compute concentration of alcohol in Levi's breath. It had no mechanism to measure Levi's intoxication level. It was way, way  too high to register.

Levi's BAC had literally broken the breathalyzer. Its career, its passion, its life came to a screeching halt. Levi had defeated it with one huff of alcohol-laden breath.

Police reported that Levi initially blew a 0.467 before the breathalyzer had the equivalent of a stroke, simply gave up, and just read the word "HI."

When asked how he could have possibly gotten that drunk, Levi told the officers he had "two Bud Lights." Buddy, we've had Bud Light, and the most we felt was a slight sensation of nausea because they taste like piss.

For reference, the legal limit for drinking and driving is a BAC of 0.08, while a BAC of between 0.4 and 0.5 is usually fatal.

And that, children, is the story of the breathalyzer and the drunkest man to ever be. So if you're like us, and you want to become a breathalyzer when you grow up; you know what to do. Stay away from men named Levi.