Get on Tinder, find a nice man who’ll make you salads and rub a good foot …

Jennifer, Jenn, J,

For close to three decades, you’ve been a woman children look up to and the star guys (and plenty of girls) want to sleep with. But your track record on picking dudes is questionable. We understand Marc Anthony, and maybe Diddy. But Ben Affleck: the world’s largest boy-man? Or Drake: the Steve Urkel of hip-hop? And that backup dancer named after a ghost? Get on Tinder, find a nice man who’ll make you salads and rub a good foot.

Sincerely, Stan (your biggest fan)