Just when we thought Kansas was doomed to a life of corn and college basketball, they've completely redeemed themselves by taking on the greatest challenge facing man since Stonehenge: building the world's tallest water slide.

Schlitterbahn water park in Kansas City isn't fucking around anymore and is in the process of erecting VERRUCKT MEG-A-BLASTER , the most amazing, ball-busting water slide known to man. It will dwarf the current Brazilian record holder, Insano which stands at 134.5 feet and reaches face-melting speeds of 62.5 mph. 

Schlitterbahn refuses to release the height and speed of VERRUCKT due to the ongoing competitive nature of water-slide building, but they guarantee that you'll hit speeds so illegal that you'll most likely force them to have to change the water and for you, your swimsuit. 

“To ensure the record-holding statistics of this new extreme attraction, we are not going to release final height and scope of the project until we are ready to welcome our first guests,” explained Jeff Henry, Schlitterbahn co-owner and award-winning designer of world-class attractions. “This new MEG-A-BLASTER speed-slide is going to wow our guests and is going to be a game changer for our industry. Our greatest challenge will be to find thrill seekers brave enough to ride.”

So let us get this straight, you aren't sure if anyone is going to ride the ride because of the intensity? Perfect. We'll wait until the first few riders get thrown before we step on-board the speed slide.