If sugary cereal was actually marketed like this, we'd buy a ton more … 

You remember Saturday morning cartoons, right? You'd wake up at the butt-crack of dawn, race to the TV and watch at least eight minutes of commercials for toys and sugary crap for every single animated program. And Tony the Tiger was there at least twice an hour, telling you to follow your heart, aim high and eat his sugar-drenched crap every day until you die from diabetes-related illnesses. 

Now, a mysterious and well-funded project has refilmed Tony's ads for the more enterprising adults out there, where he doles out his advice and sweetened garbage to those in need. And Kellogg's is super mad about it.  

In this one, Tony is encouraging a prostitute down on her luck:

Then, Tony inspires a crooked cop:

And then he delivers his vitamin-packed cereal to a suicide bomber:

Holy shit, right? It's all part of a campaign to stop filling our children with sugary crap. Check out tonyisback.com before the lawyers at Kellogg's murder these people.