What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, except syphilis, that shit'll come back with you …

Though it should come as no surprise to anyone anywhere: There is officially a syphilis epidemic happening in Las Vegas.

Health officials say Las Vegas currently has the highest rate of syphilis in the west. No shit?

While this isn’t all that surprising given the reputation Las Vegas holds, local healthcare officials are worried over the rate at which the disease — sometimes called "The Pox" for its resemblance to chicken pox — is increasing.

Since 2012, rates of syphilis have increased 128 percent in Sin City.

Experts attribute the rise of syphilis (at least partly) to the growing popularity of hookup apps like Tinder and Grindr. Which feels like an easy excuse to just "blame the Internet" — not for the fact that the city has been the party capital of North America since the '40s? Even without Tinder, it’s easier to get laid in Las Vegas than it is at an MDMA fueled swingers party at the Playboy Mansion.

Officials are worried there is no end in sight to the ongoing outbreak. Chief Health Officer of Southern Nevada Health District, Dr. Joe Iser states: “We are considering this an outbreak because the disease rates in our community are continuing to climb and we see no plateau at this point.”

We’d like to point out that this outbreak is just among people that live in Las Vegas. Because tourists are just bringing that shit home since the disease takes 2-3 weeks to show up. You'll likely have already checked out of that discounted room at Circus Circus by the time the telltale dots show up on your parts.

Luckily, if you end up contracting syphilis during your buddy’s bachelor party weekend, it can be easily treated with penicillin. So it’s probably safe enough to gamble on that 4:00 an hookup at The Hard Rock. Just get tested when you get home. Left untreated, it can cause serious tissue damage in the heart and brain, paralysis and even death (it's what got Al Capone, remember?) — which is a far worse existential hangover than losing 500 bucks at the craps table.